one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 600,000 dollars and i was so pleased with myself. 300,000 dollars when youre 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars. he was so mad
Shit, man, $300,000 would be like infinity dollars to me now.
"you’ll get ink poisoning"
haha funny thing is, its actually impossible to get ink poisoning this way. the only way to get sick with ink is to eat around 16 pens full of ink to even be slighty harmful
when I was a kid, I actually ate the ink of a pen or two. Worried, my parents called animal control. Turns out that pens are soy based, so you really can’t get sick from eating them. That doesn’t mean you should try though.
Wait, why did your parents call animal control?
So many things to ponder in bear life.
heavy gang activity reported in #ferguson.
Shakespearean insults, with cats.
7 more here.
I did not realize how very perfect cats were at delivering Shakespeare’s insults until now.
i wouldnt know im not pizza
WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT
YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT
"I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS" "oh hey sabrina."
I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.
I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve
Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know
That’s great but have you considered
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
transforms into a dick 80% of the time.
Girl Maces Dude For Being Rude (by RuthlessTelevison)
"Signed, sealed, delivered! "
There’s probably a conversation to be had here about white men and their belief that their needs and wants are more important than everyone else’s (in this particular case Black women) and white men not taking the anger of Black women seriously.
Thank god this is backt
"Signed, sealed, delivered" is the best part of this video…
SIGNED SEALED DELIVERED
"you might want to go to the bathroom and spray your eyes out."